Yes, I am a Single Parent!

The problem with being raised in a single-parent household is that I never truly saw the importance or learned the value of living in a household with both parents raising their children together. My parents were separated by the time I was three years old, and even though my father was still in our lives, it was mostly across many miles and we didn't see each other sometimes for years at a time. I saw my mother struggle to take care of three children on her own. Barely having an education and without financial support, she managed to do it. Years later, as a young adult, I became a single mother. It wasn't until years down the road that I realized what my life and my children's lives may have been like had things happened differently and had I known the value of a two-parent household. It may have had a huge affect on my decision making. I've done what I could to try to make up for that, but can we ever really make up for it? I can only hope that my children recongnize how much I love them in spite of it all. Will the cycle repeat itself? It has already begun. Even with all that, I do not feel that I am a part of a huge problem in this country. For most people, life doesn't always play out perfectly; therefore, I refuse to take responsibility for what is wrong with America or the world for that matter. In spite of it all, I am blessed and highly favored. I live my life with purpose and humility and try to demonstrate forgiveness and unconditional love in my walk. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God works in mysterious ways. Say and think what you will. God is who I answer to and I am but a vessel, so I write...maybe not for everyone, but still I write...     SD Denny

Author & Freelance Editor

Divine, Time, Water and ME: A poem by SD Denny

Divine
Having flash-forwards to times when you’d be mine, focused on the sublime
Wet towels falling to the floor during moments when we would begin to unwind
Moments when we’d get inside each other’s minds, connect the dots and language the signs
It’s only a matter of time

Time
That which stands between us making our debut of the minds
How long before we dance our dance…sing our song
Late night rendezvous beginning with waffles and ending with sweet kisses and hot breaths blown upon virgin necks…not NEVER touched, but not touched in ages, locked in cages
Only allowing time and space to the esoteric and although sometimes illusions
They’re needed in stages like one needs water

Water
That substance that I yearn to feel that is you
Shower me from my head to my feet and feel me welcoming you
Soaking me…quenching me…filling crevices along the way as you nourish the flowers of my mind
Flash-forwards to times when you cleanse me tenderly because you’ve seen ME
Sprinkles become drops and drops become showers..you shower upon ME
The real that is ME

ME
The one who awaits quiet walks along shores…simple talks under shade trees as we sip sweet nectars
The one who yearns for water…the streams that lead to your mountain majesty and countless fields of purple passion and ecstasy
Equinoxes
Full moons above our heads and Adirondack breezes between our lips at the very moment before they engage in a dance producing water over time

Divine, Time, Water and ME

Heaven Help Us! (Oh, and will that be today or tomorrow)?

I don’t pretend to “talk a strong political game” or to completely know what’s best for this country when it comes to passing legislation; however, I do know that I, as a citizen of the United States, have to live and abide by legislature and will be affected by a great deal of the decisions that are made as to what bills are passed and which ones are thrown out or placed into “holding cells” until a later date.

That brings me to this: Yesterday we learned that Senate Republicans blocked legislation that would have established a $1 billion jobs program putting veterans back to work. Their reasoning? Republicans said that although the effort was noble, the spending authorized in the bill violated limits that Congress agreed to last year. One senator who voted against the bill argued that making progress on the country's debt was the best way to help veterans in the long-term.

The problem with the delay on passing this bill is this: Some statistics say that more than 720,000 veterans are unemployed across the nation, including 220,000 veterans who have served since the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. That’s a lot of unemployed veterans! And to think that we recruit soldiers, then send them off to war, only to have them come back and not be able to find work in the country they risked their lives to fight for. How sad is that?

Here’s my question: HOW MANY U.S. CITIZENS ARE WILLING TO SACRIFICE THEIR SURVIVAL IN TODAY’S WORLD FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF A BETTER TOMORROW?

The problem is that people don’t live in the “long-term.” People live in today. They thrive in today. Today is when people need food, shelter, healthcare and JOBS! Yes, we have to think about tomorrow, but we cannot forget about today! Should Iraq and Afghanistan veterans who are out of work have to wait until 2013 (tomorrow) for the critical help that they need to survive today?

Overall, is it selfish to live for today? Is it selfish to not sacrifice today’s survival so that our children and grandchildren and their children might have a better tomorrow? That’s what many of us do on a day-to-day basis on a smaller scale, right? We sacrifice for our children’s futures, or do we? Is there a future for our children if we cannot provide for them what they need today?

What about the future of the children of those veterans who cannot find work? What future do they have if they’re hungry today?

Where is the line drawn on what can wait and what can’t? I, for one, think it’s a slap in the face to our veterans that the senate chooses to “draw a technical line on the budget” as referenced by one Democratic Senator. I don’t know it all, but I do know that soldiers returning to this country deserve better than that.

It’s good to plan for tomorrow, but some things can’t and shouldn’t be put off until tomorrow. In my humble opinion, this is one of them!

Note: This post is not intended for Presidential and candidate bashing. If you wish to chime in on the thoughts I just shared, feel free to do so “elegantly.”

Time and Relationships

I remember a conversation years ago with a friend who had separated from her first husband. She said she'd never again invest more than six months in a relationship if there's no talk of marriage after that point. Her reasoning was that if two people are mature and in the right place in their lives, there's no reason not to know after six months if they want to be married to each other. Some may feel that's crazy and that you cannot put a time frame on love, but in reality, I think she has a valid point - perhaps not so much in the amount of time, exactly, but in her idea that one shouldn't continue to invest time if there's no growth.

I'm going to speak on this from a female perspective (since I'm a woman). If a woman is in a place in her life where she's emotionally free from previous relationship baggage, then she has obviously taken the time needed to heal from past hurts or disappointments. She's open to dating or meeting new people and someone interesting comes along who captures her attention and she seems to have captured his. After getting to know each other, they both decide they no longer desire to see other people and want to pursue an exclusive relationship.

Ladies, is there a limit to the amount of time you'll invest in a relationship before you say these words: Enough is enough. If you're not talking marriage, then I'm out the door.

Is it fair to say that most people ultimately do want to get married? I do. And I recently spent two years in a relationship where there was never a commitment established. Two full years...just to look back on it today, I can say that I'm somewhat disappointed that I invested all that time out of my life in a relationship that never actually grew into anything more than just time spent on an emotional roller coaster with another individual. There was always this reason or that reason why it couldn't become something more than a special friendship. The question is - why did I not turn and walk away?

I think we all want to hold onto the hope that things will change or get better, and that we have to work on things so that they will grow, etc. Of course, that's a given, but let's look at this seriously. How much time is enough time, or do we just go on until we determine that we can't go on any longer.

Do we want to get to the point of when a woman's fed up?

I think we have to be realistic when dealing with other people. We have to look at the situation for what it is and ask ourselves if it's worth it to stay. If you know what you want, then why continue to waste your time on someone who doesn't?

What say you?

How Are You Handling Things?

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” Charles R. Swindoll


A sure way to know that I’ve matured significantly is my own observation of how I react to things in my life. There was a time (and maybe not so long ago) when my first response to a negative situation would be to immediately fly completely off the handle – no thought of how I might be perceived or the consequences that might follow. If someone said something to me that struck a nerve, I just couldn’t keep quiet. I had to say something back in a tone just as ugly as I perceived theirs to be. How dare they say that to me! The same with situations or circumstances I encountered that I found difficult to deal with – I would immediately jump the gun and get angry or depressed, depending on which of those I felt was the best direction to take at the time.

News Flash: That’s not good for you, nor does it solve anything!

I had a friend once say to me, “Choose your battles.” At the time, I didn’t understand what she meant, but today I have a clear understanding. Thanks to some true spiritual teaching from various resources over the years, I’ve learned that the above quote by Charles R. Swindoll is absolutely true!

Yesterday, I encountered a situation in which I felt betrayed by a friend. To top it off, when I got home I had to endure sarcastic remarks (jokingly stated, but sarcastic nonetheless) from a family member who assumed it was okay to make such statements. I could’ve flown off the handle and confronted my friend, but instead, I took the time to first assess the situation and my feelings about it. I considered the dynamics of the friendship and whether or not it was worth it for me to go beyond bringing it to my friend’s attention that I felt betrayed and decided that I would leave it where it was. I’ve learned over the years that you can’t change anyone, but you do have the ability to walk away from toxic relationships, which is what I’ve chosen to do instead. And the sarcastic remarks – well, I just brushed them off and didn’t bother to respond. I felt they weren’t serious enough to bother addressing, actually.

You cannot change or control other people and their actions, but how you react to them will make all the difference in the world. This is something that I learned in therapy sessions (yes, I’ve had therapy) a few years ago, and it has stuck with me since. My therapist told me, “You’ll be much better off, much happier, once you’ve accepted that you have no control over other people. The only person you have control of is YOU.” She was right – I am much happier now that I have adapted a new philosophy about handling people and things in my life.

If you find that you are constantly regretting how you handled a person or situation, perhaps you should reconsider your methods. Try taking some deep breaths first. I know this sounds like something you’d read in a self-help book, but it actually works! After that, assess the situation. If you have the time, put some thought into it, but if there’s no time, do it quickly. Think before you act or speak – when you do, you’ll find that you don’t have thoughts of regret as often as you once did.

The bottom line is, there’s other ways you can choose to react to situations without getting your panties in a bunch (I just love saying that)! Choose your battles…you never know how much it can lower your blood pressure!

SD Denny, Award-Nominated Author & Freelance Editor
Sharing words that inspire and raise awareness!
http://www.sddenny.com/
http://www.polishedpages.info/

SD Denny - Freelance Manuscript Editor!

www.polishedpages.info

I'm excited to announce that I have recently decided to begin offering my services to the literary community as a Freelance Editor!

I've been blessed to see my dream of becoming a published author come to fruition, and I've been inspired to be a resource to other writers who have chosen to self-publish or are under independent publishing houses, but are required to assume the financial responsibility of having their manuscripts edited with limited funding at their disposal. 

I'm proud to say that I offer affordable, yet premium quality services with outstanding introductory rates and a unique "First-Time Writer's" program for those who are publishing their very first book!

It's simple - I'm here to help authors make their dreams come true without the added stress of it costing a small fortune. That's not to say that becoming a published author is easy, and that it shouldn't require a little blood, sweat and tears - hey, we've all had to pay our dues! However, it's sad to see some authors either skip this critical step because they can't afford it and end up with books that are riddled with errors, or the manuscript, as good as it is, just sits on the shelf drawing dust because the writer cannot afford editing.

My slogan is "Show me your passion; I'll show you results!"

Authors who are passionate about their work should seek out the resources needed to ensure that their manuscripts shine! They're out there; I'm out there, ready and willing to provide services to meet that goal.

Visit www.polishedpages.info today for a glimpse into the services that are in store for you!

The Perspective Series: New Eyes...New You!

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." ~ Marcel Proust

Okay, I'm guilty... it's a natural part of who I am to yearn to see new places! I love exploring new grounds to experience the contrasts in geographical composition and indigenous people, and the variations in weather and culture from place to place. You may or may not take pleasure in the same; however, just imagine for a moment, the phenomenal revelation in being able to look at something you see everyday, or something in your immediate surroundings, in a totally different light!

Take your significant other for example: You look at him as being stubborn and unyielding to compromise and that eats away at you until you explode in anger when you're having a discussion about something you feel he should meet you in the middle on. That may be the case, but have you stopped to also think that he's one of the most generous people you've ever encountered? He'll give you the shirt off his back if you need it, and honor you by standing up for you in any situation (even when you may be wrong). What an awesome ally to have in a mate!

Another example may be the home you live in: You wish it were bigger because your family seems to have outgrown it, and maybe, just maybe it could use a few upgrades. Whenever you pull up in your driveway after work, you cringe at the thought of not being able to afford a bigger home or make the upgrades you imagine daily; however, have you ever stopped to think that your home, although it may be the smallest home in the neighborhood, it houses the most closely-knit family on the block? Under that roof are people who love and respect each other and every Sunday morning you meet at the breakfast table to share a wonderful meal together as a form of worshipping the creator. Although they don't tell you often, they appreciate you, and you them.

Lastly, you may not be able to afford that romantic trip to Paris that you've always wanted to take, but have you ever stopped to wonder about the air of romance in your own backyard? How about a drive to the mountains or to Charleston, SC, where romance and wonder are plentiful...

It's great to see new landscapes, but having New Eyes to see the good in things that are right before you will give you a new perspective in life, overall. At first thought, you may not be happy about a circumstance or situation, but having a new perspective may allow you to see the good in it that wasn't there before.

Today I challenge you to meditate on having new eyes. Take a moment to visualize a circumstance or situation and find the good in it. Find ways to make peace with your inner self through a new vision and outlook on your life.

Love & Light,
SD Denny
Author of novels, The Baker's Dozen and HALF
http://www.sddenny.com/

The Perspective Series: Your Interpretation of the World

"Be careful how you interpret the world: It is like that." ~ Erich Heller

Your interpretation of the world that "you" live in, and your perception thereof, will make all the difference in your life. The same applies to your circumstances. If you believe that you're doomed, or that your life is unravelling before your eyes, and there's no hope for the future, then that will be the reality that you create for yourself.

The truth of the matter is that YOUR life is what YOU make it. YOU, alone, create and control your reality. Whether you choose to take life one day at a time, facing each challenge with optimism and anticipating positive development, or you decide to live in gloom, disappointment or depression because something didn't work out the way you had planned, the outcome will be just that. It's your choice!

The world and everything in it will be to you just as you interpret it. Choose wisely as it will have a major impact on your life, your peace of mind, and your well-being.


Today, I challenge you to pay special attention to the way that you interpret the world, your surroundings, and your circumstances. Meditate and seek ways to shape your interpretation of life so that you have a more positive outlook.


Love and Light,
SD Denny
Author of novels, The Baker's Dozen and HALF
www.sddenny.com