Time and Relationships

I remember a conversation years ago with a friend who had separated from her first husband. She said she'd never again invest more than six months in a relationship if there's no talk of marriage after that point. Her reasoning was that if two people are mature and in the right place in their lives, there's no reason not to know after six months if they want to be married to each other. Some may feel that's crazy and that you cannot put a time frame on love, but in reality, I think she has a valid point - perhaps not so much in the amount of time, exactly, but in her idea that one shouldn't continue to invest time if there's no growth.

I'm going to speak on this from a female perspective (since I'm a woman). If a woman is in a place in her life where she's emotionally free from previous relationship baggage, then she has obviously taken the time needed to heal from past hurts or disappointments. She's open to dating or meeting new people and someone interesting comes along who captures her attention and she seems to have captured his. After getting to know each other, they both decide they no longer desire to see other people and want to pursue an exclusive relationship.

Ladies, is there a limit to the amount of time you'll invest in a relationship before you say these words: Enough is enough. If you're not talking marriage, then I'm out the door.

Is it fair to say that most people ultimately do want to get married? I do. And I recently spent two years in a relationship where there was never a commitment established. Two full years...just to look back on it today, I can say that I'm somewhat disappointed that I invested all that time out of my life in a relationship that never actually grew into anything more than just time spent on an emotional roller coaster with another individual. There was always this reason or that reason why it couldn't become something more than a special friendship. The question is - why did I not turn and walk away?

I think we all want to hold onto the hope that things will change or get better, and that we have to work on things so that they will grow, etc. Of course, that's a given, but let's look at this seriously. How much time is enough time, or do we just go on until we determine that we can't go on any longer.

Do we want to get to the point of when a woman's fed up?

I think we have to be realistic when dealing with other people. We have to look at the situation for what it is and ask ourselves if it's worth it to stay. If you know what you want, then why continue to waste your time on someone who doesn't?

What say you?