Denying My Blackness?

Since the recent Tiger Woods media frenzy began, I've seen a great deal of comments regarding Tiger "denying his blackness" or "denying his black heritage." It seems that because he refers to himself as "Cablinasian" some people feel that he is denying the part of him that is black.

This is something that I've thought deeply about for many years, especially because I happen to be biracial. When I had to choose between black and white on applications in past years, I'd always chosen black. After all, I'd grown up in a household with a black mother and because anyone could look at me and tell that I wasn't white! But since the "other" or "multiracial" options have become available, I have chosen to select one of those instead. And it's not because I'm denying my black heritage, but simply because I have more than one parent, and the other just happens to be white.

I embrace both sides of my heritage, black and white. And I'm sorry if I offend anyone when I say that I'm biracial, but I don't feel that I should have to choose one or the other simply because there's someone out there who feels that if I don't classify myself as being black, then I'm not being proud of my black heritage.

Give Tiger a break...and trust that when he looks in the mirror, he is very much aware that he is looking at a man with strong black heritage.

Your thoughts?

Relation “Shifts”

Have you ever heard that saying, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?”
That is the truth! For many of us, the most important things in our lives are the relationships we have with others, whether they’re family, friends, lovers, or life partners. As I’ve matured to the ripe age of 44 that I am, I can truly say that my outlook on relation “shifts” has taken on a new meaning. People come and go. I’ve seen it explained before, but this evening I’ve taken the time to break it down in my own terms.
Reason: Have you ever been at a place in your life when you were so distraught, perhaps over the loss of another relationship or something else that was significant in your life and you didn’t know how you were going to make it through? Then you think, “Wow, if it wasn’t for this person, or that person, I don’t know how I would’ve made it.” I believe God brings people in and out of our lives to help us through tough times, or perhaps to teach us a lesson, or even take us through certain experiences to make us stronger, or make us examples for others who may need an example.
Season: Do you feel you are a different person than you were 10, 20, or even 30 years ago? I believe we go through seasons in our lives. I am constantly evolving and I know that I couldn’t interact the same with someone 20 years ago that I could today. You may have friends or life partners that were in your life when you were in a particular season, but today that relationship just doesn’t have the same meaning. It’s natural for people to grow, and sometimes that means your life takes a different direction. That’s okay! You thank God for the season and the growth and you continue to grow. If God has called you for a purpose, it may be time to let go and move on. It doesn’t have to be a BAD thing and it doesn’t mean that you have to stop loving someone. Sometimes, letting go may be best for the other person, just as much as it may be for you.
Lifetime: There are some people that will always be a part of your life. No matter what. You usually know who they are. They may be people we communicate with all the time or we may rarely talk to them…but there’s just this unspoken promise that for as long as you are alive, you’re in their life and they’re in yours.
I think it helps the healing process by being able to determine why certain people came into our lives or left our lives. It can also help in the decision making process as to whether or not it’s time to let go of a relationship that may have you in a stagnated state. Either way, we live, we love, and we learn. And we live some more.
Do you know who’s who in your life? Can you move past a painful experience by being able to identify the meaning of that relationship in your life?

Your thoughts?

Depression

On Friday May 1^st my debut novel, The Baker’s Dozen, is being released to the public! Am I excited? Absolutely! Who wouldn’t be? And treading on its heels, May 3 - May 9, is yet another momentous time - National Anxiety and Depression Awareness Week. You’ll find that The Baker’s Dozen touches on the subject of depression and mental illness within the family as it narrates the story of a young woman’s struggle from within to allow herself the freedom to love. With the two being very significant to me, I thought it was the perfect time to write this blog.

With a struggling economy and so many companies shedding jobs, more and more people are facing situations that could easily drive them over the edge of sanity. Depression has claimed many victims and embedded its ugly claws in the lives of people you would never think possible.

For instance, no one could ever have convinced me that I would experience depression. A few years ago I endured several major changes in my life, all at one time, that caused me to fall into a deep emotional slump. After weeks of being in denial, I finally convinced myself to take advantage of the employee assistance program at work. It wasn’t an overnight process, but I had to take the first step toward healing. The help that I received, coupled with my spiritual growth, enabled me to climb out of the pit I’d subconsciously fallen into.

That first step was the hardest. As a single woman and head of my household, I had developed the attitude of a leader. I had to be strong for my family, and admitting that I was dealing with depression was the same as admitting that I was weak and could be penetrated. Not to mention I was embarrassed. Those are some reasons why depression goes untreated. So many are ashamed to admit that they’re suffering, so they suffer in silence, thinking it will go away when sometimes it only gets worse.

Here are some facts you should know about depression:

·        It causes you to feel sad and hopeless much of the time.

·        Anyone can have depression. It often, but not always, runs in families.

·        It can be caused by major events that cause stress, illnesses, medications, and drug/alcohol use.

·        It can be treated with counseling or antidepressant medicine, or both.

 

Here are some facts that I found to be really interesting:

·        54% of people think depression is a personal weakness.

·        41% of depressed women are too embarrassed to seek help.

·        80% of depressed people are not currently getting treatment.

·        92% of depressed African-American males do not seek treatment.

·        15% of depressed people will commit suicide.

·        Depression will be the second largest killer after heart disease by 2020 - and studies show depression is a contributory factor to fatal coronary disease. 

If you or someone you know needs help, there are many resources available. Also, in observance of National Anxiety and Depression Awareness Week, I challenge you to broaden your knowledge of depression. Here’s one website I found to be particularly helpful: www.freedomfromfear.org

 

If you are led to make a contribution to this cause, visit www.mindovermatter2day.com, a not-for-profit organization that uses the donations they receive to help people get the assistance they need.  

Please join me as I celebrate the release of my debut novel on Friday May 1^st. 

To order your copy of The Baker’s Dozen, visit www.peaceinthestormpublishing.com