As I sat having breakfast and some really great girl-talk with a friend this morning, the topic of flaws came up. My friend pointed out to me that I may need to overlook certain flaws in men if I ever plan to have a companion. I realized that she might be right and wondered if that might have something to do with me still being single at forty-three. Nahhh, couldn't be.
Ever heard Beyonce's song Flaws and All? She's talking about all the things about herself that could be seen as flaws in someones eyes, yet they are overlooked by the one who truly loves her.
The chorus goes: I don't know why you love me. And that's why I love you. You catch me when I fall. Accept me flaws and all. And that's why I love you.
I grew up in the fast life of Brooklyn, NY around fast-talking guys with big-city mentalities. My mother referred to them as "City Slickers", but they were all I knew. When I moved to North Carolina in my early twenties, it took some time adapting to the differences I noticed in most men. The fast-talk had dwindled down to a much slower pace and gone was the street hustler that could take you out all the time and give you almost anything you asked for. I looked at these differences as flaws and overlooked some wonderful southern men as a result. There was one in particular who stands out. I saw him as being too "country" for my taste and belittled his love for me. When I look back, this was by far the one who loved me the way that I would want to be loved today.
That was long ago, and things have changed. I've learned a huge lesson on diversity and that differences are not flaws. I've learned that although I'm from a big city, I'm a country girl at heart and I love the character of a southern gentleman who can hang a ceiling fan, change the oil in my car, take me out for a good 'ole fish dinner and show me he's the king of the jungle where it counts!
I've grown a great deal, and although I don't like to dwell on what would've been, I still can't help but wonder what opportunities for love or friendship I've let pass me by because I couldn't get past what I considered were flaws.
How many friendships or relationships have you let pass you by because of someones flaws?
She Speaks! I listen...
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Sis, this was awesome! I had someone who I thought loved me flaws and all once, even dedicated my book to him...what happened is another story, but, I 2 have overlooked good men just because they were different, and looking back I wonder what could have or should have been. So its true, we all have to grow before we can properly be loved, b/c if we have good love and aren't mature enough to accept it, then we surely won't know how to love him back.
ReplyDeleteMy friendships are full of flawed people, probably because I too am flawed...I love folks who have been through something and come out on the other side...there are people I pass up or will leave when I just can't take it anymore, but they really have to have taken me there to leave...flaws make for different, and different is beauty!
ReplyDeleteBless You,
angelia
It's funny that this topic was brought up because we have to think about our pass relationships or maybe even present ones if we truly are accepting the flaws in ourselves or with our mate. No one was truly born in this world perfect. We all have flaws that we may not see but others will. It's the point of the sacrifices we make that will keep us with whom we are designed to be with. I know I'm still young and still learning about the ways of life but I can think back and say I've probably looked over flaws in myself as well as others just because I didn't know any other way. When that song by beyonce finally dropped I cried when I listened to it because that is nothing but the truth what she is saying. Your mate will have to accept your flaws as well as you accepting theirs or you will never have that companionship that all woman and men adore out of life. The most important part is having God to guide you and your mate in lasting with each other. Getting to know each other on all levels. Communication is so so important and people don't really realize that until it's too late sometimes. I want to say Ms. Sharon that was absolutely a good blog and you've opened up a thought path of many. Thanks for the read. Take care.
ReplyDelete~Strawberry Cream~